All humans have an innate drive to seek support from close ones during times of distress, yet individual differences arise from early relational experiences—particularly how others responded to support-seeking and the resulting internalised beliefs about the self and others. Attachment theory highlights the importance of a child’s emotional bond with their primary caregivers. If this bond is disrupted or lost, it can have long-term emotional and psychological effects that continue into adulthood and impact future relationships. 

Consistently available, emotionally-attuned, supportive caregivers can foster:

• A strong sense of attachment security
• Belief in self-worth 
• Confidence to explore and engage with life

Inconsistent, dismissive, or abusive caregivers can lead to:

• Attachment insecurity
• Doubts about self-worth and others’ reliability
• Use of secondary attachment strategies (e.g., avoidance or anxiety)

⚠️ These two dimensions—attachment anxiety and attachment avoidance—help explain how people cope with stress in relationships.

What is Attachment Insecurity?

Attachment insecurity develops when early relationships with caregivers felt unpredictable, unresponsive, or emotionally unsafe. Instead of learning that others can be trusted and relied on, a person may grow up expecting others to be:

• Threatening
  Others feel unsafe.
  “If I get close, I’ll get hurt.”
• Rejecting
  Needing help leads to being left.
  “If I open up, they’ll leave or shut me down.”
• Inconsistent
  People cannot be relied on to respond the same.
  “Sometimes they care, sometimes they don’t.”
• Intrusive
  Others override your space or needs.
  “They won’t listen to what I want.”
• Judgmental 
  Fear of being criticised or shamed.
  “If they knew me, they’d think I’m broken.”

These deep-rooted beliefs shape how a person relates to others later in life—especially in environments where they need help or feel emotionally exposed.

💡 As a result, people with insecure attachment often develop coping strategies to manage the discomfort and risk of relying on others. These strategies often show up as safety behaviours, which help the person manage feelings of vulnerability, fear, and mistrust in relationships or systems that feel unsafe.

🔍 What are Safety Behaviours?

Safety behaviours are actions people use, often unconsciously, to protect themselves from perceived threat, emotional pain, or re-experiencing past trauma. People respond to attachment insecurity in different ways—often falling into two broad patterns: attachment anxiety and attachment avoidance.

Attachment-Related Anxiety:

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Often develops from early relationships that were inconsistent — sometimes supportive, sometimes not.

The person may:

• Fear abandonment, crave closeness, and seek constant reassurance.
• Doubt that others will meet their emotional needs.
• Have strong emotional reactions if they feel ignored or rejected.
• Focus intensely on their own distress, often engaging in emotion-focused coping like worrying, rumination, or self-blame.
• Safety behaviours help them feel connected—but may unintentionally push others away.

✅ Support Tip: Offer consistent responses, validate feelings, and set gentle boundaries.

Attachment-Related Avoidance:

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Often develops from early experiences where closeness was rejected or unsafe.

The person may:

• Often fear dependency, feel uncomfortable with emotional closeness, and value self-reliance.
• Rely on distancing coping—denying stress, diverting attention, or emotionally disengaging.
• Avoid talking about feelings or asking for help.
• Can seem distant, uninterested, or hard to connect with.
• Safety behaviours create distance to avoid feeling exposed or controlled.

✅ Support Tip: Respect emotional space, offer support without pressure, and show reliability over time.

⚠️These behaviours are best understood not as manipulative or deliberately difficult, but as coping strategies developed to survive and deal with overwhelming early experiences of trauma, neglect, and betrayal by both caregivers and professionals.